Bloomington, IL Divorce & Family Law Blog by Stange Law Firm, PC

Divorcing parents in Illinois often find it difficult to adjust to a co-parenting relationship. This is true in the most amicable of cases, but it poses a particular problem in high-conflict situations. The disputes may spill over into the child custody situation, leading to parents bad-mouthing each other to the children or undermining the custody agreement or visitation schedule. While co-parenting with a toxic former partner adds additional strain and stress, there are ways to defuse difficult situations and put the children's best interests first.

Of course, former partners may know how to push each other's emotional buttons. It can be easy for a quick comment or message to lead to a serious argument, sometimes in front of the children. It's important for parents to recognize that their former partner is still the same person, but they no longer have to interact the way they did as a couple. Those unhealthy patterns led to the divorce in the first place, after all. Parents can turn to a therapist or friend for support in dealing with a difficult ex. However, they should avoid confiding in their children. This puts the kids in the middle of the conflict and makes them choose sides between their parents.

There are several steps a parent in Illinois may need to go through to file for child support. A mother who was not married to the child's father at the time of the child's birth may need to establish paternity. If the mother was married to someone else at the time, that person may be listed as the father.

The Office of Child Support Enforcement can help with locating the parent, establishing paternity and collecting child support. It will also assist fathers who need to locate mothers and collect child support from them. It may be necessary to use a database called the Federal Parent Locator Service to find the other parent. Once the parent is located, there is still a lengthy process to go through. It may take several weeks or even months before child support payments start to arrive.

Matters involving child custody in Bloomington can easily become contentious. Parents cannot be faulted for loving their children, yet at the same time, their motives for not wanting their children's other parents to have regular access to them can often come under question. One might reasonably wonder if they have their children's best interests in mind, or are rather allowing their own personal feelings to drive their decisions. It is understandable that parents feel a great deal of emotion (both good and bad) when it comes to custody matters, but the hope is that such emotion will remain under control and not lead to potentially dangerous actions. 

When it does, its repercussions can often go far beyond the parties directly involved in the custody dispute. Take the case of three sisters from Oklahoma. the trio was recently arrested and charged with attempting to kill the father of one of their numbers children. The woman allegedly hatched a plot to lure the man and his wife to a gas station in a rural community in Alabama. He believed that he was going there to pick up the child for an extended visit. Upon arriving, however, several gunshots were fired at his vehicle (one of which struck him in the shoulder). Authorities believe the child's mother was not at the scene when the shooting occurred; her job was to get him there. Her two sisters then allegedly shot at the man and fled. All three face charges that could send them to prison for several years. 

Across Illinois, older couples are deciding to divorce at later ages. However, even older divorcing parents should understand that their adult children will be impacted by a split. This is especially important because the impact of divorce on adult children tends to be grossly underestimated.

Very Well Family takes a look at the psychological impact of divorce on younger children. This area of study has a wealth of research behind it. It is generally agreed upon that parents should approach the topic of an impending divorce together, ensuring the child understands they are not at fault. Children should be left out of any squabbles. Typically, younger children tend to bounce back from divorces more fully as long as they have the proper treatment and therapy offered to them in the aftermath.