The paperwork has been signed, judgment is completed, and your divorce in Bloomington, IL is finalized. The whole process has been emotionally exhausting and incredibly stressful. Your life may feel like it was turned upside down, and there’s a pretty good chance that it was. You might feel lost and that you don’t know where to go from here. Life after divorce in Bloomington, IL is going to take a while to feel normal again, but here are a few steps you can take to get yourself there.
Allow Yourself to Grieve
Most people associate grief with the feelings they are confronted with after the death of a loved one, but grief is actually what follows any major loss in life. People feel grief for all significant losses, including after friends move away, if they lose their job, and especially when a romantic relationship ends. A divorce is a major loss in life, and it can sometimes be described as the death of a marriage. Even if you want to split up, it’s completely natural to let yourself mourn the love and lifestyle that you’ve lost.
Grief is probably one of the most unpleasant feelings we experience in life, but it is an important first step to healing. It’s okay to allow yourself to work through the grief at your own pace. You might feel stressed and anxious for some time. As you process the loss, grief can begin to fade, and things can start to feel normal again. If you are looking for extra help processing the grief and working through the emotions, seeing a mental health professional can be a big help on your healing journey.
Acceptance of your loss and new life takes time. It simply doesn’t just happen overnight. Finally accepting the change in your life comes after you experience the grief of the loss, and you successfully begin to cope with all your emotions in a healthy manner. Acceptance is a great step in moving forward with your new life after divorce.
Talk About It
Divorce can be one of the most emotional and stressful periods of life that anyone goes through. You’ve probably been in a whirlwind of emotions since the process began, and you may still be experiencing them now that everything’s finalized. You may need to address and work through them, and sometimes, you might just want to vent.
Reaching out to friends and loved ones can offer the emotional support you need. Your friends and loved ones can listen with empathy and understanding. Maybe, you simply need a friendly face you can trust to vent to. Sharing your feelings in a safe, judgment-free zone can provide validation to your situation.
If you are looking for more support, there is no shame in speaking to a professional. Trained therapists can offer excellent practical advice and guide you in processing everything you are feeling right now. If there are children who have been impacted by your divorce, licensed family counselors can teach them tools to use to cope with their feelings. Therapists and counselors can help guide the family through this transition with the compassion and understanding that is needed most during this time.
Financial issues are one of the biggest and most common reasons couples list as their reason for divorce. Finances can become even more complicated when you add them on top of the stress of the divorce itself. The first thing that you should do financially after filing is close your joint bank accounts and open one for yourself. If you have not taken the steps to do this, do it as soon as possible. A major part of creating your new life after divorce includes establishing financial independence. Taking control of your life starts with taking control of your finances.
Depending on the outcome of your divorce, you could end up paying alimony or child support. If you are responsible for making these payments as part of the divorce agreement, it is essential that you calculate them into your budget. In the Bloomington family court system, child support and alimony payment amounts can vary and largely depend on multiple factors.
If you are unsure how payments might impact you, it can help to utilize a child support calculator as an estimation tool when planning financially for your life after divorce.
Create A Co-Parenting Plan
It’s easy to underestimate how much our children learn from us. The interactions between you and your spouse during the divorce set examples for how your children should behave during disagreements. Trying to stay cordial with your former spouse might be difficult if your marriage ended on bad terms. However, it is essential that you treat each other with respect in the interest of your child’s wellbeing. After a divorce where child custody is involved, it may take some time to adjust to your co-parenting plan. While you’re all settling into the new schedule, there are ways that you can make this process easier for everyone.
In order to minimize any disagreements about where holidays or summer vacations will be spent, discuss events well ahead of time. Agreeing to terms six months before taking a vacation, instead of the week before, can help avoid conflict surrounding who your children are spending time with.
Visitation time may already be determined by the Bloomington family court system, but chances are, the household rules are not. Some parents may have more lenient rules to gain an upper hand over the other. They may do this with the intention of appeasing the children while in their custody, which then causes the children to become frustrated when treated differently by the other parent. Establishing common rules between both households can result in fewer arguments between you, your ex, and your children.
Support From Your Attorney
It’s easy to feel lost while trying to navigate life after a divorce. Emotional distress, custody of children, and alimony or child support payments can become overwhelming. Although your divorce may be finalized, you may still encounter situations where support from legal representation can be necessary. It is important to find yourself an experienced Bloomington, IL divorce attorney to guide you through any circumstances that may arise.